Shock can be very shocking, but it’s fleeting. A big part of my life changed but a few weeks ago. At first I was so daunted by its weight, I didn’t understand HOW or WHY or the answer to those questions in the context of LIFE NOW. There was no LIFE NOW, there was waiting, to wake up. But I couldn’t wake up.
And things were happening that I had to go on with. I talked to the part of my brain that wants to just wallow. I told it that it could do that later as much as it wanted but I needed some time to do a thing. It relented. I had to talk to other parts of my brain. But I got there and the thing got done.
And then, when it had its time, that part of my brain didn’t want to wallow any more. And so I didn’t. And that was it, pretty much. Things can feel weird at times, but, I feel like myself again. I feel like a person again. I have a life and I am living it, and things feel fine, things feel comfortable, and things feel normal. I’ve adjusted.
I even went on to feeling happy again, good about things.
If I’m honest, I haven’t entirely given up hope of waking up, but I’m not waiting for it.